a come back

i've said my goodbye. and now i'm here. my dusty and abandoned blog. the urge to write is always there, in my mind, the action to do it is always zero. this would be the final entry for 2012. or maybe the only entry for 2012. i can't remember the last time i'm here.

before we bid our goodbyes to 2012, lets just be thankful that we fought through it. a whole freaking year. which i felt like it was only months.

it seems like yesterday i was in the movies with Eman when the clock strikes 12 on 1/1/2012.
it seems like yesterday i sat for my first year final exams.
it seems like yesterday Aliff turns one.
it seems like yesterday i went to Rome and Milan with my friends.
it seems like yesterday i came home for my summer break.
it seems like yesterday i went on an impromptu trip to Penang with Eman.
it seems like yesterday for the first time i went to Cameron Highlands.
it seems like yesterday i got my exam results.
it seems like yesterday i went to Krabi with Eman, Ika and her sister.
it seems like yesterday i came home for Hari Raya.
it seems like yesterday i went on vacation with my family at Sepang Palm Tree Resort.
it seems like yesterday i turn 25.
it seems like yesterday i had to come back to Canterbury to start my new term.
Everything seems like yesterday. the memories. the best of it, i kept it in my heart. i treasure it. the bitter part of it, hmm i dont forget them. i just remind myself that rainbows don't appear always. you just got to take a little bumpy ride sometimes.

everyone hopes for a better year. so do i. it is my final year. the finale. the eagerness to complete this masters program is beyond my imagination. it's not that i don't like it here. i love it. it's just that home is always the best place to be. as i would say, it's heaven on earth!

so 2013, i'm waiting for you. make it my best year ever! cheers to that!

oh and 2013, it will be our 3 years together. the person whom i had a crush on when i was 13 and now he is still my crush, just that we have the same feelings. he could be the one that completes me in every way. we'll see. Du'a the best for us! staying strong here!

Ignorance

I know you are ashamed of me. It's either you are ashamed being with me or you are ashamed of the things i do. So i decided to ignore all of it and start believing in whatever feels right. heart speaks but brain decides it all.

a new hello

it's 2012. yes believe it. i'm not sure if i have ever mention about pursuing my dreams or furthering my studies. so here, now, this instance, i'm blogging all the way from England. Not here, for a holiday. I'm here for a chance to grab my Masters in Actuarial Science. Yes. I pursue one of my lifetime dreams. It only have been 5months and still, i cant believe that i'm here. i know i'm lucky and thankful that i had been given scholarships since the first day i step foot in university. I'm blessed.

So here is my first entry for this journey. and wish me luck.

Never stop dreaming! You never know what might be install for you. xx

aaaaa finally

atlast i remembered my password. now i just have to decide whether to deactivate this blog or leave it just the way it is. due to certain reasons have caused me to make such decisions. huge embarassment when you wrote about that someone and that someone happens to read it. malu gile nak mati! hopefully he stops reading this so that once in awhile i could come back and write eventhough i had said my goodbye.

oh i think i should welcome myself. welcomeeee baaackkk myselff. sounds pathetic.

anyways, with things that been going through and life being in its low point i got no idea what to write. eh wait! did i mention i am done with my degree??? hell yeaahh done with it! what's next? haa wait and see.

ps: i wish i am different but im not :(

aaaaa finally

posto posto

what is today's date? it is the 24th of May. and why im asking about this particular date? well, apparently, i want to remember this date. yes. this 24th of May 2010. why? no reason. just like to save the date for myself. is there anything special? i dont know. maybe. could be. curious? haha well, that's the purpose. bye :)

go ahead and laugh

i know i have said my last goodbye but dropping by once in awhile is not a harm pun kan. so hello to myself.

at this time and at this hour, am suppose to study. well, i did. a few minutes ago. i managed to attached myself on the study table for less than an hour. bad? well, at least a few minutes of un-waste time. at least i tried. neglecting studies in the early of each semester have been part of me. and yet i fail to really regret it. when am i going to change? god knows. hopefully, i could still maintain my pointers and cgpa. or not i know a bucket of tears would be awaiting. and yes people may laugh and wait for this time. but hell no it wont happen. i will try. i will succeed. and i will put my whole effort. and i will not bail. i will fulfill my dreams. i know i will. damn it i will!

owh btw, ashton kutcher is sexy. grrr

and somehow today is the stranger-whom-i-really-like's birthday (refer previous previous previous post, cant remember which one la tapi). i wished him on facebook. and he replied "thank you". weii thank you pun dah cukup kot. (imagining his face typing thank you and hit the comment button. gile chomel. and i cant stop imagining. itupun chomel padahal die buat muke selamba badak dan dalam hati sambil berkata "e'eleh minah ni, kenal pun tak nak wish wish plak". be positive. maybe the 1st imagination tu betul.) panjang pula bende dalam bracket ni.
am starting to sound stupid here.

last but not least, i love you! (not the stranger. adelah sorang tu. haha)

ok saya getik dan gedik. maka it becomes getged. awesome!