keep believing

currently watching grey's anatomy. i can go over and over watching this without boredom. yes. i wish i was meredith grey. or maybe izie stevens. they are near to perfect. but i guess miracles dont happen to people like me to be them.

i blog like a 10 year old. im not a writer. i dont write. but i think a lot. sometimes the anxiety of thinking makes me wants to write. but it crashed away when im right in front of my laptop. the horrible writing is due to the lack of ideas. and passion. the only passion i have now is eating. im cutting list of cravings day by day. and why is that? why do i eat a lot? why am i growing? why am i getting fatter? whats with all this? dont i have better things to do? the answer to the last question, is NO. i have nothing to do. im not searching for part time jobs and am not doing any attachment. i dont know what am i suppose to do. fatenah, can you please do something wise? my brains might not grow big but my imaginations, mind can. or is it just mental masturbation?